For the past week I've been babysitting a 'tween' of a close family-friend. Its been ... different and has taken some getting used to; getting up at 5am to leave at 6am to take two buses is not really fun (understatement of the century).
Today was an okay day. Ebony (my charge) and I visited the library, and also hung out at the park for a bit, making silly videos -- me doing most of the videoing. She's a great kid, super smart.
Anyway, on my way home, as I was waiting for my bus, the blinding light of the sun in my face, I started looking around me, started noticing different things. One thing stood out from all the rest.
There was this couple who were crossing the street, holding hands. As they neared the other side he let go of her hand (which made me, an outsider looking in, feel bereft of his hand ... Weird, I know), and allowed her to walk ahead of him before they finally stepped unto the pavement of the other side. I'm feeling a bit sad that he let go of her hand, but as I continued to watch them walk away I saw him lag behind a bit, his hand slightly away from his body, palm slightly opened. It was as if he feared rejection, you know. He didn't grab her hand in his, or wholly offer his hand for her to take it; there was this hesitancy. And as I kept on looking, as if on its own, her hand found his; kind of, magnetically. They didn't look at each other, just kept marching on to their destination. All this happened in no more than 5 seconds. I thought about human frailty; I thought of our vulnerability. Of how we unsubconsciously send out things that say "I don't want to be hurt; I'm trying to trust that you won't hurt me."
It also made me a bit melancholy. I thought, "where's the guy to reach out and, however hesitantly, offer me his hand?"
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