I'm here.

For the past week I've been babysitting a 'tween' of a close family-friend. Its been ... different and has taken some getting used to; getting up at 5am to leave at 6am to take two buses is not really fun (understatement of the century).
Today was an okay day. Ebony (my charge) and I visited the library, and also hung out at the park for a bit, making silly videos -- me doing most of the videoing. She's a great kid, super smart.
Anyway, on my way home, as I was waiting for my bus, the blinding light of the sun in my face, I started looking around me, started noticing different things. One thing stood out from all the rest.
There was this couple who were crossing the street, holding hands. As they neared the other side he let go of her hand (which made me, an outsider looking in, feel bereft of his hand ... Weird, I know), and allowed her to walk ahead of him before they finally stepped unto the pavement of the other side. I'm feeling a bit sad that he let go of her hand, but as I continued to watch them walk away I saw him lag behind a bit, his hand slightly away from his body, palm slightly opened. It was as if he feared rejection, you know. He didn't grab her hand in his, or wholly offer his hand for her to take it; there was this hesitancy. And as I kept on looking, as if on its own, her hand found his; kind of, magnetically. They didn't look at each other, just kept marching on to their destination. All this happened in no more than 5 seconds. I thought about human frailty; I thought of our vulnerability. Of how we unsubconsciously send out things that say "I don't want to be hurt; I'm trying to trust that you won't hurt me."
It also made me a bit melancholy. I thought, "where's the guy to reach out and, however hesitantly, offer me his hand?"
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Tomorrow is a big day!

So, I have a job interview tomorrow at my school to be a computer technician in the psychology lab. I'm excited about it; and at the same time I am extremely anxious. I mean, this is like my dream job.
I'm a computer major -- and if I get the job I'll be getting paid to do something I love. Yay! I pray that I'm qualified enough for it. :/
I'll holla!
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HawthoRNe is back!

Tell me that you guys saw tonight's episode of HawthoRNe! Drama started almost immediately.
I love Jada (Christina) in this role; can't wait for her & Tom to hook up already. Gosh, he is absolutely delish! LOL

Repost from 22.4.10: 20/20 hearing?!

So this morning I’m getting ready to go do laundry and as i emptied the pockets of one of my dad’s jeans, a quarter fell to the floor. my dad, who was in the bathroom brushing his teeth came out almost immediately. “I heard something fall, I think it might be my money . . . a quarter”, he says. I look at my mom and laugh, then I told him that I didn’t know if I should congratulate him on his correct guess, or be worried that my father knows the exact sound of a quarter as it hits the floor.

Who Am I?

Heck, even I’m not sure about something as simple as that. I mean, I believe that we lose a little bit of ourselves everyday.

Why? Well, we are told constantly, subliminally or not, how we should dress, how we should look, how we should speak. You put up a strong stance at first, but along the way you start to falter and next thing you know, you’re another one of society’s puppets.
In this day and age it gets hard for a person to hold on to their true self. I mean you wanna be that person that fits in, and at the same time you wanna be that person that stands out; and is different. It’s a complication of sorts, I guess.

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.
— Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

Bob on Relationships

Saw this quote by Bob Ettinger on my tumblr blog and I just had to post. It goes:
“Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should beseverance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.”

Yo.

Oh my goodness! I've been hacking away at this new layout since this morning! Uber tired + I haven't eaten all day. :(